HOPE AND HEALING FOR ADULT STEPFAMILIES

     WELCOME to Gracious Family Life, the website for adult stepfamilies. Whether you or your parent(s) remarried years ago, recently remarried, or are contemplating remarriage, this is the place for you.

     Every year millions of adults join the ranks of adult stepchildren when one or both parents remarry following widowhood or divorce. Many struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger, and rejection. Others experience loss of self esteem or cut themselves off from the family in lieu of accepting a stepparent. The majority of adult stepchildren are uncomfortable with their parent’s overt signs of affection. If you have experienced any or all of these, you are not alone. Dr. Sarah Corrie, a British psychologist, observed a noticeable increase in adults seeking professional counseling following a parent’s remarriage. She calls them “the neglected client group” because their “characteristics and needs…have been largely ignored by both the research and clinical literature.”

     Yet some adults adjust well to the family’s reconfiguration and embrace their new stepparent as a new friend and family member. What makes the difference? How can you be one who adapts? How can you turn your relationship with your stepparent from foe to friend? Gracious Family Life explores these questions and others in order to help adult stepfamilies experience joy in their relationships.

     Empty-nest parents who are suddenly single after divorce or the death of a spouse face many challenges with loneliness often topping the list. They may enjoy time with children and grandchildren but it is not the same as having a loving companion. How do you tell your children that you are dating or engaged? How do you handle wedding plans? How do you maintain relationships after the wedding? What should you do about finances? Grandchildren? Family traditions? Please feel free to share what you have learned that may help others nurture loving relationships and avoid pitfalls of unhappy relationships.

     Through my efforts of interviewing dozens of adult stepchildren and remarried parents, of research, of writing about my findings, and of implementing what I learned, my hurts have been healed, my happiness increased, and my relationships improved. It is as though I have a new lease on life enjoying more fulfilling interactions with my dad and stepmother. That is my hope and desire for you.

      When Your Parent Remarries Late in Life, by Terri P. Smith with Dr. James Harper, is full of suggestions to help you remedy your stepfamily relationships. After reading it, please feel free to let us know what advice or stories benefited you. Or even contact us sharing what has and hasn’t worked for you in interactions with your parent/stepparent or your child/stepchild.

Posted: September 26th, 2007 under successful stepfamilies, stepfamily relationships.
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