The holidays are upon us. Whether you are thinking of a Halloween costume, the Thanksgiving menu, Christmas decorations, or Hanukkah festivities, traditions play a key role in our celebrations. In some ways traditions define our family, our religion, or our nationality. We look forward to that special time of dad carving the turkey, Susie putting the star at the top of the tree, or Ben lighting the candles. As we look forward to, we often look back on as well. We remember that special wish as we tugged on the wishbone, or the laughter as dad opened his gift and donned his third tie, or mom singing childhood songs while washing dishes together.

            When we marry, we often adopt traditions of each other’s family. We also start new traditions unique to our family. Our children look forward to certain family rituals even as we did as children and continue to do as adults.

            A remarriage in the family way cause some anxiety rather than anticipation as the holidays approach. Should the table be set with mom’s fine china and crystal with a new matriarch in the home? Who will carve the turkey now that dad is no longer with us? Where do we do the holiday cookie baking that even the grandchildren enjoy?

            Mature stepfamilies may struggle maintaining family identity or unity especially when long-held rituals are forgotten. Regardless of the length of time of a parent’s remarriage, traditions can strengthen existing family ties or create bonds with new family members. Please share experiences of family traditions your family continued or new ones started that has helped to nurture and to unite your mature stepfamily.